Patch Perfect Grass Seed: Does it Work?
By: Lauren Keith

It's a product dozens of you requested I try before you buy---the Patch Perfect Grass Seed. The product's commercial claims "lab tests prove these seeds germinate in days," and the diagram goes on to show a full patch of grass growing in as little as five days!  The product makers even call Patch Pefect "grass seed on steroids." So, it's no wonder why dozens of you emailed me, requesting I try Patch Perfect on Does it Work Wednesday.
I enlisted the expert help of Master Gardener Paul Schnare and Southeast MO State University Turf Management major Kyle Kraft.  Kyle manages the turf plots near the campus greenhouse. 
"The fiber in this seed will help it, and the fertilizer will make it grow quickly," notes Kyle.
"It's a mixture of fescues, rye grass and bluegrasses that are pretty common. Probably the difference is the inner matter added to it," notes Paul after looking at the ingredients.
Kyle spreads the Patch Perfect seeds in a small turf plot.  The directions say "just spread it and forget it" but Kyle has his doubts.
"The directions say you don't need to rake it, but just like a farmer would, you wouldn't just put seed on top of the ground and leave it.  Raking it covers it and helps it get more water," he says.
So, Kyle rakes half of the Patch Perfect seeds and leaves the rest uncovered, per the directions. Next, he goes one step further than the instructions and promises to water the Patch Perfect plot at least two times a day over the next week.  During this test, Cape Girardeau was very dry and no rain was in the forecast for the next week.  Therefore, this watering is needed to grow any grass.
Now, get this: the commercial says this seed is so powerful, it grows on bricks! We'll test that, too!
"You might get a few growing in the cracks, but I doubt it!" laughs Kyle.
I'll check back with Kyle and Paul.  In the meantime, I head to my photographer's lawn.  Once there, I see a neighbor's dog made some "spots" in this yard, and wouldn't you know, Patch Perfect promises to take care of pet urine spots, too!  It claims to neutralize the faded area and regrow grass in those spots.
And now, it's six days later.  Here's what my test found.
"We watered it every single morning for ten minutes at a time, and we watered in the afternoon.  There's nothing growing," says Kyle.
There are a few sprouts here and there, but we all have to get down pretty low just to spot those!  It's definitely not the results we were hoping for. As for the brick plot---yeah, you guessed it---absolutely nothing!
"Anyone with common sense knows plants don't grow on bricks. There's no place for it to put down its roots!" laughs Paul.
Finally, the results on the pet urine spots are actually quite comical. The fertilizer in the Patch Perfect actually caused the grass around the spot to sprout up! It definitely didn't cover the spot, as promised.
Here' s the kicker.  Thanks to shipping costs, a bag of patch perfect costs you $33.85! 
"That's a lot. You can buy a huge bag of seed for that amount and instead you get this small bag of Patch Perfect!" says Kyle.
"For the type of seed listed in this product, you could actually buy it in stores for fifty cents!" says Paul.
Master Gardener Paul Schnare also says it's possible for grass to grow strong in as little as five days.  Years back, he traveled to the Univesity of Missouri-Columbia campus and helped get the turf growing on Faurot Field.  He got there on a Monday and had the turf looking perfect by that Friday.  He says the only way to get a carpeted lawn is to have a very high amount of fertilizer and seed.
"You'd have to take 10 to 20 times the amount of what's in this bag of Patch Perfect in order to see results in that short amount of time," says Paul.
And that would cost a lot.  Please understand this: we have no doubt in a few weeks there will be more grass growing here with the Patch Perfect.  However, normal grass would also be growing strong in that amount of time. So, given the 5-day claim and the high cost, the only thing the Patch Perfect sprouts up in this short amount of time is:
"I'd lean towards an F," says Kyle.
"Considering everything, I'd give it an F.  I certainly would!" says Paul.
Yup---Patch Perfect, you fail this Does it Work test!