Video of Facebook parenting - Man shoots daughter's laptop

ALBEMARLE, NC (WBTV) - An Albemarle, N.C. man is getting big views on YouTube after he posted an eight-minute video that includes him shooting his daughter's laptop after finding posts that his daughter put on Facebook about her parents.

The man, who identifies himself as Tommy Jordan, recorded the video on Tuesday, Feb. 7.

Some people have demanded that police take action.  The Albemarle Police have received calls from concerned people from other states.  According to the police department, no officers went to visit Jordan.  However, posts from Jordan's account say police did visit him.

Jordan says he posted the video for his daughter Hannah and all of her friends who enjoyed her "rebellious post."

"For all you parents out there who think your kids don't post bad things on Facebook, well, I wanna read you one I took off my daughter's Facebook wall," he said in the video. "She thought she was being smart, by blocking her parents from being able to see it."

After he started talking about the video, he read a letter to his daughter.

"Hannah, you were grounded for about three months for doing something very similar to this and I would have thought with a father that worked in IT for a living that you'd have better sense than to do it again," he read in the video.

He says that he spent about six hours on Monday fixing his daughter's computer and updating it, spending nearly $130 in new software for her computer. That's when he says he ran across the post on her Facebook page.

He said that since she wanted to hide the post, he was going to share it with everyone. The post is entitled "To my parents," Jordan said.

"To my parents: I'm not your damn slave. It's not my responsibility to clean up your [expletive]. We have a cleaning lady for a reason. Her name is Linda, not Hannah," he read from his daughter's Facebook page. "If you want coffee, get off your [expletive] and get it yourself. If you want a garden, shovel the fertilizer yourself, don't sit back on your [expletive] and watch me do it. If you walk in the house and get mud all over the floor that I just cleaned, be my guest, but clean it up after you are done getting [expletive] everywhere. I'm tired of picking up after you. You tell me at least once a day to get a job."

"And I love this part," he retorted in the video.

"You could just pay me for all the [expletive] I do around the house," his daughter's Facebook post continued."

That portion of the post garnered reaction from Jordan.

"Seriously? Are you kidding me?" he asked in the video. "I'll get to that in a minute."

The post continued, "Every day when I get home from school, I have to do dishes, clean the counter tops, all the floors, make all the beds, do the laundry and get the trash. I'm not even going to mention all the work I do around your clinic. And if I don't do that every day, I get grounded. Do you know how hard it is to keep up with chores and schoolwork? It's freakin' crazy."

"I go to sleep every night at ten o'clock because I am too tired to stay up any longer and do anything else," Jordan continued reading from her post. "I have to get up at five in the morning, to get ready for school. On the weekends, I have to sleep with my door locked so my little brother won't come get me up at six."

Jordan responded,"That part is true."

"I'm tired of this [expletive]. Next time I have to pour a cup of coffee, I'm going to flip [expletive]," Hannah's post continued. "I have no idea how I have a life. I'm going to hate to see the day when you get too old to wipe your [expletive] and you call me, asking for help. I won't be there. Signed, Your Pissed Kid."

After a brief pause, Jordan then talked about a couple of the things in his daughter's post.

He said that "cleaning lady" was a friend that helped cleaned the house, as a favor, and that Hannah should never refer to her as a "cleaning lady" ever again.

"Pay you for the chores you... seriously?" he yelled at the camera. "Pay you for chores that your supposed to do around the house? You come home from school and you have a list of chores that are on the wall because you can't remember them if you don't. They are sweep the living room and kitchen floor, which total would take you about three minutes. If the countertops are dirty, wipe them down, which takes about a minute. If the dishwasher is full and has been run, empty it and put the dishes away, if it's not make sure all the glasses and stuff are in the dishwasher."

"If you have any laundry, of your own, do it," his video rant continued. "And if your bed is unmade, do it. You don't have to do my laundry, you don't have to make my bed, you don't have to make the guest bed. You have to make your own bed."

Jordan continued asking in the video if his daughter was serious about getting paid to do chores.

"You are 15, going on 16-years-old. You want things for your laptop, you want a new battery, you want a new cord, you want a new camera, you want a new phone, you want a new iPod, but you won't get off your lazy [expletive] to even look for a job," Jordan said. "The only job that you've applied to is the one that I made you apply to, because I got the application for you."

Jordan then crumpled up the paper he was holding and spouted out a list of things that he had done by his daughter's age, which included moving out, going to college, while attending high school, worked two jobs and was a volunteer fireman.

"Your responsibilities include waking up on time and getting on the bus," he ranted. "That's the end of your responsibilities each day. You don't have that hard of a life, but you're about to. I warned you months ago about what would happen if you did something like this on Facebook again. The last time you were grounded, and quite frankly I forgot now but it was fairly childish and stupid, we took away the computer and that kind of thing. No cell phone, no Facebook."

"I told you if it ever happened again, that it would be a lot worse. And I was really close that day to putting a bullet in your laptop."

Jordan said on the video that his daughter didn't have to worry about buying a new battery, laptop power cord or camera because she wouldn't be using any of them, until probably college.

"I don't know how to say how disappointed I am in you and how disrespectful you were to every single adult in your life," he said in the video. "You got it easy, way easy. It's about to get harder, it's about to get a whole lot harder. Today."

He then said that she may not see the video, but he was going to post it on her Facebook wall so that all of her friends that thought her post was "cool" could see what happens.

"And all the parents may get an idea to put a boot up their own kid's [expletive]," he said. "So I'm gonna put a stop to it and I'm gonna put a stop to it right now."

Jordan then stood up, showed Hannah's lap top laying on the ground, pulled out a .45 handgun and fired a shot into the computer.

"That was the first round," he said mentioning that he was using hollow-point round that Hannah was going to have to pay him back, at one-dollar a piece.

He then fired five additional shots. A seventh shot was fired for Hannah's mother and then he fired his two final rounds.

"Just for the record," he continued after shooting Hannah's laptop. "Whenever you are not grounded, whatever year that happens to be, you can have a new laptop when you buy a new laptop."

Jordan finished the video by saying "I hope you enjoyed your little fiasco on Facebook, hope it was worth all this. Have a good day, y'all!"

Jordan's response

The following statement was posted on Tommy Jordan's Facebook page after the video went viral.

"Attention Media Outlets: While we appreciate the interest you're all putting forth to get in touch with us regarding the video, we're not going to go on your talk show, not going to call in to your radio show, and not going to be in your TV mini-series.

Some of you think I made an acceptable parenting decision and others think I didn't. However, I can't think of any way myself or my daughter can ...respond to a media outlet that won't be twisted out of context. The Dallas news TV news already showed that in their brief 5 minute interview with the psychologist.

Additionally, there's absolutely NO way I'm going to send my child the message that it's OK to gain from something like this. It would send her a message that it's OK to profit at the expense of someone else's embarrassment or misfortune and that's now how I was raised, nor how she has been raised.

So I say thank you from all of us. If we have anything to say, we'll say it here on Facebook, and we'll say it publicly, but we won't say it to a microphone or a camera. There are too many other REAL issues out there that could use this attention you're giving us. My daughter isn't hurt, emotionally scarred, or otherwise damaged, but that kind of publicity has never seemed to be to have a positive effect on any child or family.

If you're a news outlet that wants to ask us a question, feel free to so via email. I'm sure by now my email address is easy enough to find. It might take me awhile to get to a response because I'd have to sort through the "Die you bastard" emails to find it, but we will respond if its something that we feel merits it. Otherwise, sorry... no interviews, no talk shows, no call-ins.

If we respond to anything, it will be on here, and it will be in a way that our words can't be misconstrued or edited for appeal to specific audience or shock value.

Now, I'm going to try to get to work for the day. Best of luck to all of you out there... and PLEASE give my phone a break."

Since then, Jordan has posted updates and some responses to media outlets including this one.

"Your questions were:

Q: Why did y...ou decide to reprimand your daughter over a public medium like YouTube?

A: Well, I actually just had to load the video file itself on YouTube because it's a better upload process than Facebook, but the intended audience was her Facebook friends and the parents of those friends who saw her post and would naturally assume we let our children get away with something like that. So, to answer "Why did you reprimand her over a public medium like Facebook" my answer is this: Because that's how I was raised. If I did something embarrassing to my parents in public (such as a grocery store) I got my tail tore up right there in front of God and everyone, right there in the store. I put the reprisal in exactly the same medium she did, in the exact same manner. Her post went out to about 452 people. Mine went out to about 550 people… originally. I had no idea it would become what it did.

Q: How effective do you think your punishment was (i.e. shooting her laptop and reading her letter online)?

A: I think it was very effective on one front. She apparently didn't remember being talked to about previous incidents, nor did she seem to remember the effects of having it taken away, nor did the eventual long-term grounding seem to get through to her. I think she thought "Well, I'll just wait it out and I'll get it back eventually." Her behavior corrected for a short time, and then it went back to what it was before and worse. This time, she won't ever forget and it'll be a long time before she has an opportunity to post on Facebook again. I feel pretty certain that every day from then to now, whenever one of her friends mentions Facebook, she'll remember it and wish she hadn't done what she did.

The second lesson I want her to learn is the value of a dollar. We don't give her everything she asks for, but you can all imagine what it's like being the only grandchild and the first child. Presents and money come from all sides when you're young. Most of the things she has that are "cool" were bought or gifted that way. She's always asked for very few things, but they're always high-dollar things (iPod, laptop, smartphone, etc). Eventually she gets given enough money to get them. That's not learning the value of a dollar. Its knowing how to save money, which I greatly applaud in her, but it's not enough. She wants a digital SLR camera. She wants a 22 rifle like mine. She wants a car. She wants a smart phone with a data package and unlimited texting. (I have to hear about that one every week!)

She thinks all these things are supposed to be given to her because she's got parents. It's not going to happen, at least not in our house. She can get a job and work for money just like everyone else. Then she can spend it on anything she wants (within reason). If she wants to work for two months to save enough to purchase a $1000 SLR camera with an $800 lens, then I can guarantee she'll NEVER leave it outside at night. She'll be careful when she puts it away and carries it around. She'll value it much more because she worked so hard to get it. Instead, with the current way things have been given to her, she's on about her fourth phone and just expects another one when she breaks the one she has. She's not sorry about breaking it, or losing it, she's sorry only because she can't text her friends. I firmly believe she'll be a LOT more careful when she has to buy her own $299.00 Motorola Razr smartphone.

Until then, she can do chores, and lots and lots of them, so the people who ARE feeding her, clothing her, paying for all her school trips, paying for her musical instruments, can have some time to relax after they finish working to support her and the rest of the family. She can either work to make money on her own, or she will do chores to contribute around the house. She's known all along that all she has to do is get a job and a lot of these chores will go away. But if you're too lazy to work even to get things you want for yourself, I'm certainly not going to let you sit idly on your rear-end with your face glued to both the TV and Facebook for 5 to 6 hours per night. Those days are over.

Q: How did your daughter respond to the video and to what happened to her laptop?

A: She responded to the video with "I can't believe you shot my computer!" That was the first thing she said when she found out about it. Then we sat and we talked for quite a long while on the back patio about the things she did, the things I did in response, etc.

Later after she'd had time to process it and I'd had time to process her thoughts on the matters we discussed, we were back to a semi-truce… you know that uncomfortable moment when you're in the kitchen with your child after an argument and you're both waiting to see which one's going to cave in and resume normal conversation first? Yeah, that moment. I told her about the video response and about it going viral and about the consequences it could have on our family for the next couple of days and asked if she wanted to see some of the comments people had made. After the first few hundred comments, she was astounded with the responses.

People were telling her she was going to commit suicide, commit a gun-related crime, become a drug addict, drop out of school, get pregnant on purpose, and become a stripper because she's too emotionally damaged now to be a productive member of society. Apparently stripper was the job-choice of most of the commenters. Her response was "Dude… it's only a computer. I mean, yeah I'm mad but pfft." She actually asked me to post a comment on one of the threads (and I did) asking what other job fields the victims of laptop-homicide were eligible for because she wasn't too keen on the stripping thing.

We agreed we learned two collective lessons from this so far:

First: As her father, I'll definitely do what I say I will, both positive and negative and she can depend on that. She no longer has any doubt about that.

Second: We have always told her what you put online can affect you forever. Years later a single Facebook/MySpace/Twitter comment can affect her eligibility for a good job and can even get her fired from a job she already has. She's seen first-hand through this video the worst possible scenario that can happen. One post, made by her Dad, will probably follow him the rest of his life; just like those mean things she said on Facebook will stick with the people her words hurt for a long time to come. Once you put it out there, you can't take it back, so think carefully before you use the internet to broadcast your thoughts and feelings."

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