How do you know your kids are staying safe online? Here’s how to start the conversation.

CAPE GIRARDEAU, Mo. (KFVS) - Keeping your kids safe online is one thing, but making sure they feel comfortable talking to you about it in case they do find themselves in an uncomfortable situation is another.

Mia Ponder works for the SEMO Network Against Sexual Violence as a Prevention Specialist. She speaks to young people about online safety. She said just getting them talking is a good place to start.

“Having those smaller conversations over longer periods of time instead of having one large sit down conversation is going to be a lot more helpful for kids,” Ponder said.

She knows not every teen or tween wants to talk about how they use social media with their parents. That’s why she suggests starting small.

“Are you annoyed at this new app update? Because I just got on and it looks totally different and that’s annoying to me,” Ponder said. This is one of the conversation starters she suggests to parents.

Opening that conversation is key, Ponder says, since your kids are spending a good portion of their day on a phone, tablet or computer.

“At school, at home, in their free time, they’re spending lots of time online, so it’s important to know what kids are doing online, and what they’re seeing online, and preparing them for what they’re going to see online,” she said.

Michaela Smith worries about her seventeen-year-old daughter.

“She’s still learning how to know what to believe, who to believe, she’s a little naive still,” Smith said. “The biggest concern is other people and their access to my teenage daughter.”

Smith recently allowed her to download Snapchat.

“I wanted to make sure that I felt like she was in a place where she could make good judgements,” Smith said. “Once you send a picture, it’s out there forever.”

Ponder said to be sure your kids understand how social media apps work, including Snapchat and Be-Real where messages disappear after a certain amount of time.

“It’s there for a couple seconds and then it’s gone or it’s there for 24 hours and then it’s gone,” Ponder said. “It’s not truly gone, we need to treat it like it’s just like Facebook or Twitter or Instagram.”

Smith said she consistently reminds her daughter how permanent the internet is.

“Nothing is ever really truly private,” Smith said.

“If they do get into trouble online, not immediately punishing them, but having a conversation about why that wasn’t okay and why it was good that they came to you,” Ponder said.

“Okay thank you for sharing that with me, let’s work through this together,” Ponder suggested as a way to respond if your child brings something to your attention.

Ponder will be speaking more about online safety for your child during the Tween Expo at the Osage Center this weekend.

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