KFVS12 News & Weather Cape Girardeau, Carbondale, Poplar BluffThe growing problem of cutting: Why local teens would harm themselves

The growing problem of cutting: Why local teens would harm themselves

By Kathy Sweeney - bio | email

CAPE GIRARDEAU, MO (KFVS) - "I've had enough. I can't deal with this anymore."

At 15 and a half, Danielle hit what she calls her breaking point.  She'd lost two loved ones, and faced another family member's alcoholism. Her relationship with an older boyfriend was falling apart.

"He was a major influence in my life and when that went downhill, I started losing grip of things that were happening," she said.

So, she decided to take matters into her own hands.

"I took a safety pin and started carving on my arm because I felt like that was the only thing that I could actually deal with," Danielle said.

I asked her if anyone knew she was cutting herself.

"My mom didn't. None of my family did for a while. I was good at hiding a lot of stuff. I was good at hiding my feelings," she said.  "It got really bad.  I started not just using safety pins, but I started using scissors and just slashing my arms.  When my parents would yell at me, I would not only do that, but I would take razor blades and cut them off and just take the razors and go at my skin and start nipping my skin off with scissors.  It started getting really bad."

I asked her how she kept it from her family. 

"Sometimes, I don't know how," she started.  "Well, the simple things, just wear long t-shirts, always wear hoodies."

"They generally are very secretive about where they cut," said counselor Susan Watkins.  Watkins works with teenagers who self-mutilate.

"I would say the number one thing I see, especially in girls who cut, is that they have a relationship issue with usually an older boyfriend where it's become abusive, either verbally or physically, and that's one way they have of releasing that pressure."

Watkins says teens who cut often face sexual or substance abuse in the home, along with feelings of abandonment.

"I have boys that cut too.  And generally, the boys will have much deeper scars than the girls," Watkins said.  "They're more extreme with that kind of behavior."

At Cape Girardeau Central High School, Principal Mike Cowan says he has dozens of students each month who face crisis situations, including cutting.

"We have a great number of kids living in unstable family situations than we've ever had before," Cowan said.

Cowan says his staff has had to become more aware of how to identify students in need by watching for signs like a drastic change in their appearance or a sudden lost in interest.

"If you have a child who is sitting in a classroom who is so distressed that she or he is contemplating hurting herself, himself, their minds are certainly not going to be on algebra or English or chemistry," said Cowan.

"It's not unusual if you sit down and talk to a teen for them to offer that information up," counselor Susan Watkins said.

But, she also cautions us before we start interrogating our teens.

"One of the things I don't want to have happen through this story is for parents to start putting their kids under a magnifying glass and looking for all these signs and symptoms," she said. "I think there's some common sense, and I have teens myself, that if your child is not sitting down and not interacting with you, there's a problem. The teens who do this do withdraw emotionally from their families."

Now 16 and receiving treatment, Danielle takes control of her life by preventing pain, whether by her own hand, or by the actions of others.

"I just want kids who are listening to this and if they are listening to this who do have this problem, that there is people out there that can help," she said.  "Some people do care. There's a lot of people who are mean out there, but people do care."

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